CONVICTED: Wicked, resung by the cast of LOST
by Leah Emilio-Depp
Summary: This is my parody of Wicked, lyrics written from the point of MOSTLY kate and sawyer... of course, a parody of Defying Gravity
1. Defying Ethics

**Note: I had the first part of the song, but it contained too many inside jokes for most readers to understand… so I cut it and I was too lazy to rewrite it. Oh,THIS IS IMPORTANT DO NOT SKIP!!!!!! I am the original writer of this parody and NOBODY else, and I am in no was affiliated with the Wicked on/off-broadway production. (or Mr. Baum) This was one of the songs I wrote for a musical roudction (performed by my friends) titled: "CONVICTED"**

**DEFYING GRAVITY/DEFYING ETHICS**

Something has changed within me///Something was maimed within me.  
Something is not the same///Liking Jack does not remain.  
I'm through with playing by the rules ///I'm through with dating  
Of someone else's game///A-a guy wi-ith no brain.  
Too late for second-guessing///Too late for pathetic groveling

Too late to go back to sleep ///I love you, Jack: NOT!!  
It's time to trust my instincts///I'll be with Sawyer forever  
Close my eyes: and leap!///Cause he's real…ly hott!!

It's time to try///It's time to try  
Defying gravity///Defying ethics  
I think I'll try///I think I'll try  
Defying gravity///Defying ethics  
And you can't pull me down!///And you can't take me back!

GLINDA/JACK  
Can't I make you understand?/// Can't I make you understand?  
You're having delusions of grandeur:///I'm only gay because you!

ELPHABA  
I'm through accepting limits///I'm through accepting excuses  
'Cuz someone says they're so///Cuz' your's are very lame  
Some things I cannot change///I'll stay with Sawyer forever,  
But till I try, I'll never know!///He doesn't bring me to shame!!  
Too long I've been afraid of///Too long I've been afraid of  
Losing love I guess I've lost///Losing this sad love song.  
Well, if that's love///But, then I realized  
It comes at much too high a cost!///I hated you all along!!  
I'd sooner buy///I'd sooner cry over

Defying gravity///Defying ethics  
Kiss me goodbye///_Don't kiss me good-bye_  
I'm defying gravity///I'm defying ethics  
And you can't pull me down:///And you can't take me back.  
(spoken) Glinda - come with me./// (Spoken **_JACK_**) Kate –come with me!!

Think of what we could//Think of what we could "do":  
do: together.///Together

(sung) Unlimited///(Sung **_KATE_**) Airhead.  
Together we're unlimited///You're a stupid- airhead  
Together we'll be the greatest team ///Together we'll be the worst couple  
There's ever been///There's ever been.  
Glinda -/// Ja-ack-  
Dreams, the way we planned 'em///Sorry, but you're a loser

GLINDA///JACK  
If we work in tandem:///I guess beggers can't be choosers

BOTH//KATE  
There's no fight we cannot win///You got that0at one right.  
Just you and I//Good-bye, cuz' I'm  
Defying gravityam ///Defying ethics  
With you and I///Sawyer and I  
Defying gravity///Defying ethics

ELPHABA///KATE  
They'll never bring us down!///You'll never take me back!  
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?///Oh burn, whadya say to that?

GLINDA///JACK  
I hope you're happy///I hope your miserable!  
Now that you're choosing this///Now that your choosing that

ELPHABA///KATE  
(spoken) You too///The feelings mutual  
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss///I hope you get fat

BOTH///BOTH  
I really hope you get it///I hope you don't get it!  
And you don't live to regret it///And you live to regret it!  
I hope you're happy in the end///I hope your miserable in the end.  
I hope you're happy, my friend:///I'm going with my-y, boyfriend.

ELPHABA ///KATE

So if you care to find me///Don't even care to find me!  
Look to the western sky!///Cuz' I bid an adieu!  
As someone told me lately:///As someone told me lately:  
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"///"4 8 15 16 23 42!!"  
And if I'm flying solo/// And if I'm flying with a con man,  
At least I'm flying free/// At least I'm flying free!  
To those who'd ground me/// He treats me as a person  
Take a message back from me/// Not "a woman" or a "she"!!  
Tell them how I am/// Tell them how we are  
Defying gravity///Defying Ethics  
I'm flying high///_We're flying high_  
Defying gravity/// Defying ethics  
And soon I'll match them in renown/// And soon we'll match any couple in renown  
And nobody in all of Oz/// And nobody, on all of LOST  
No Wizard that there is or was/// No doctor that there is or was  
Is ever gonna bring me down!///Is ever gonna' date me again!!

GLINDA/// JACK  
I hope you're happy!/// I hope your miserable!!

CITIZENS OF OZ/// SAWYER  
Look at her, she's wicked!/// Look at her, she's convicted!!  
Get her!/// Date her!!

ELPHABA///KATE  
:Bring me down!Date me again!!

CITIZENS OF OZ/// SAWYER  
No one mourns the wicked/// No one mourns the convicted  
So we've got to bring her/// So we have to date her

ELPHABA///KATE  
Ahhh!///Sawyer!!!

CITIZENS OF OZ/// SAWYER  
Down!/// Again!!

Sorry if there were spelling errors: my spell check was not working when i wrote this, like, six months ago.


	2. Torturer

**NOTE: I did not write tbe beginning where Galinda and Elphaba are talking, I usuallly do that. Once again, I am NOT affiliated with WICKED or blah blah blah… oh, remember to sing!! **

**POPULARTORTURER**

GALINDASAYID

(sung) Whenever I see someone///Whenever I meet someone  
Less fortunate than I///Who doesn't cooperate with me  
(And let's face it - who isn't///And let's face it- who doesn't  
Less fortunate than I?)///Cooperate with me!?

My tender heart///I'll make their tender arms  
Tends to start to bleed///Tend to start to bleed  
And when someone needs a makeover///And when someone needs their hair pulled out  
I simply have to take over///And really has to shriek and shout  
I know I know exactly what they need///I know, I know exactly why they scream  
And even in your case///And even on your face

Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face///Tho' it's the thoughest face I've yet to… face  
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed///Don't worry- Or my name ain't "Sayid"  
Follow my lead///Give up your lead  
And yes, indeed///And yes, indeed  
You will be:///You'll be a:

Popular!///Torturer!  
You're gonna be popular!///You're gonna be a torturer!  
I'll teach you the proper ploys///I'll teach you the proper tools  
When you talk to boys///When people break the rules  
Little ways to flirt and flounce///Little ways to hurt and break  
I'll show you what shoes to wear///I'll show you which reeds to jab  
How to fix your hair///Which leg to stab  
Everything that really counts///Everything that really counts

To be popular///To be a torturer  
I'll help you be popular!///I'll help you be a torturer  
You'll hang with the right cohorts///You'll hurt the right traitors  
You'll be good at sports///Have 'em on all fours  
Know the slang you've got to know///Have the screwdrivers you gotta' own!  
So let's start///So let's start  
'Cause you've got ///We want wanna' make em'

an awfully long way to go:///Cry and groan

Don't be offended by my frank analysis ///Don't be afraid of my really huge wide nose  
Think of it as personality dialysis///I use it to thwart off enemies and foes  
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a///I hope you see me as a pal, a  
Sister and adviser///Brother and Adviser  
There's nobody wiser///There's nobody wiser  
Not when it comes to popular -///Not when it comes to torturers-  
I know about popular///I know about torturers  
And with an assist from me///And I hope you don't take this personally  
To be who you'll be///But you smell of potpourri!  
Instead of dreary who-you-were: well, are///I guess your gay like I thought you were, well, are  
There's nothing that can stop you///Still, there's nothing that can stop you  
From becoming popu-///From becoming a tortu-  
Ler: lar:///Rer, rar

La la la la///Lost lost lost lost  
We're gonna make///We're gonna make you  
You popular///A torturer

When I see depressing creatures///When I see dishonest creatures  
With unprepossessing features///I mess up their personal features  
I remind them on their own behalf///I remind on their own behalf  
To think of ///To think of  
Celebrated heads of state or///Celebrated heads of the hatch or  
Specially great communicators///Rulers that ain't no more  
Did they have brains or knowledge?///Think that they were the kind ones?  
Don't make me laugh!///Don't make me laugh!!

They were popular! Please -///Tee hee They were torturers! Please-  
It's all about popular!///It's all about torturers  
It's not about aptitude///It's not about the two-shoes  
It's the way you're viewed///It's the way you abuse  
So it's very shrewd to be///So you better choose to be  
Very very popular///A great, great torturer  
Like me!///Like me!

(spoken) Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you.///Why, Miss Eggheadphaba, look at you.

You're beautiful.///You're… yeaaaah.

ELPHABA(spoken) I1 - I have to go:///JACK I have to go.

GALINDA///SAYID  
(spoken) You're welcome!///(In mocking tone) Thanks Sayid!  
(sung) And though you protest///All though you're insane  
Your disinterest///And you think its inhumane.  
I know clandestinely///I'm almost completely sure  
You're gonna grin and bear it///You'll be glad I taught you  
Your new found popularity///You're a brand new torturer!  
La la la la///Lost lost lost lost  
You'll be popular -///You'll be a torturer-  
Just not as quite as popular///Just not quite a torturer  
As me!///As me!


End file.
